Boring and Tired

Feel nothing much to write recently..
Just feel so freaking tired in this semester -w-
And things are getting worst.... feel sad in this college

累

最近... 都很烦....

烦功课.. 烦考试..烦朋友... 烦家人..烦下个semester的课程怎样...

而且最近都没什么精神....也没什么胃口..真的很累...很累.....

我的头..真的很痛....很想安静的休息...等人来宠爱.....

我...希望可以躺在某人的肩旁.... 被疼爱.. 被照顾.....

我...很久没有那种感觉了.... 自己知道自己事.....

因为.....我知道这是不可能的.........

我只需要足够的休息... 少给我麻烦... 我就够了.....

Kisiao Assignments

Walaoooo...... just finish my assignment! OH MY GOSH!!!

Damn kisiao la weihhhh!! ><

Used 4days for rushing 2 assignments... Pastry and Food Comm..

and just now accidently delete my Food Comm Presentation files!! OH MY GOSH!!

I was very mad and feel so fuck up!!!!! ISHHH!!!

lucky Max Goh intro me the software which can retrieve the files...

Thanks to his help.. I AM ABLE TO RESTORE MY FILE!! HAHAHAHAHAHA~~~

have to go print it in college tomorrow.... and submit....

have to go binding some more.. T.T

ROARRRRRRR

MkBB

It's been a while we never meet each other....
and yet.. we've date to go to DesaPetaling for Steamboat..
(for friends gathering... well just some of us.. not many -,-)

When I reach and the 1st moment I meet them...
I feels like... normal.. don't really feels anything...
Then I sit down... and quite.... very quite...
they have their jokes.. and they laughing... but..
I don't feel it is funny... I am still quite.. I don't even showing my expression... ==
and.. some of them are keep saying bad words....
and I keep thinking in my heart (Gosh!! Can't you just stop saying bad words?)
I feels very speechless when I'm with them.. but...
they are still like the old one... and I... changed?
Sigh....
Don't know... I just want to keep on the path I'm going... I don't wish to be the old me...
All I want.. is to improve!!

Changed...

This is the 3 or 4 weeks in College...
I felt I've totally became another person...
The way I think... is start from Positive way.. not Negative from the start anymore...
The way I talk.. hmm.. although is not really changed.. but still improved a bit.. =D
The way I study.. is not lazy like before anymore..
I'm even forcing my self to study for the WHOLE MIDNIGHT!!

*sigh*
I'm seriously sooooooooo tiring!
Even I don't have class.. but I'm still going to College.. Cause it's so happy to be there.. You will know when you are study there... It's a very happy place for all humanity.

Love my college..
Love my colleagues....

I have to hard working to improves my self...
I want to be a very good life in future... I want to change!!! change change change!!!

No turning BACK!!!

When I'm with my gangs..
I felt that I'm the greatest among my gangs... (MkBB)

But after I stepped my 1st step in my College Life...
And I felt that I'm just nothing....
I felt so lonely to walk this path...

"Panda" is the one who guide me to this path....
But he's not walking with me... Yet I felt so much stress and sadness....
They are speaking well in English... So self-abased....

Fortunately... I met those colleagues which is able to communicate to...
and the unfortunately,
I've been separated in group with those peoples which is unable to communicate..
The way they talk and the way they jokes... I'm totally doesn't feel interested ==

I've been cried over and over again...
Cause I really felt so suffer to walk this path..
And my parents.... I know they had been stressed for my study fees...
I love you.. mom dad... sorry....
And so I want to get a good result to repay them... I need to work hard in this path....
And there is no turning BACK!!!
I have to keep going...... ='(

Orientation Days

1st Day-
-Feels a little nervous when I'm there... for alone..
-Knew some friends..
-Nervous when Taking the English Test (Listening , Writing)
-Joined a group , Flickr. We're having almost 13 people +..
-Was having fun but I'm not really enjoying.

2nd Day -
-Knew MORE friends. =D
-Nervous when taking the English Test 2. (Speaking & Reading)
-Having fun and enjoy.
-Seriously TIRED!! LOL!!

3rd Day-
-Knew More and More friends...~~
-Feels happy when I've know my English level was in I level~
(But not really feels happy cause I've not good in my Grammar,Writing and Speaking)
-Know where's my class and managed my C&G time tables although I'm the only one with C&G
-Not really know what's our Drama about.. anyway we've did it lol?
-I've joined the Bowling Club~ =D
-Enjoyed and FUN!!
-Love my Colleague!!

Change

Actually...
I've changed... a little? or perhaps I've changed a lot?
My mind.... and the way I think are different from before..

WELL....
Thanks to those who keep on support me and teaching me... =D

Seriously,I need to change much more better...
And from now on... I have to :
-Give a try to everything in my life and stop acting like a retarded / coward
-Think to a positive way to anythings / any case
-Improve my knowledge to pretend others by looking down me..

Blah Blah Blah....

Whatever it is~
The only thing I have to do is WORK HARD in my entire LIFE!!



-Buddha Bless-

Pressure...

It's been awhile...
I'm keep thinking none stop about my "coming ways"
I felt so stress when I'm thinking about it...

Car test..
College life...
November test....
Coming assignments.....

Although it haven't get started...
But I'm still feel so nervous and stress......
I'm afraid I can't handle it...
Somehow, these days I feel chest pain..
Yet I have to take a deep breathe.... (Cause I'm hard to breathe)

Perhaps I'm a little exhausted....
Just need stay empty my mind...
Live my own way.....

-Buddha Bless-

Old Blog

Haha!!
Just found back my previous blogs...
I felt I so funny and stupid when I'm small.. x3
Here's my previous blogs link... xD

http://raven93.blogspot.com/

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/raven93



Quiet a lot of memory....

A New Thing I've learn.........

I've just argue with someone nasty(anger from love) in my life....
Made me feels to cry... and I told my friend,Alvin.

He told me......

no point crying

wasting ur time

the best way

don talk to him

ignore

let him feel guilty

if he did not realise forget abt it

if he do.

apologize

as simple as tat

u have dignity

u must control ur self

to prevent others by hurting u

This really the great way he teach me.....
And I've feel much more better....
Really thanks Man... Thanks Alvin..... =)



-Peace Out-

New Begins

Finally....
I've put down the things which I have to put......
I've let you go... and put you down... (HELL YEAH!!!)
Well.... everything changed and everyone changed..
Times will not stop for anybody...

Duh!! Start college life soon....
I'm a little nervous.. T______T

Oh ya! Guess What?
I get a NEW PHONE!!! YEEEEEHAAA!!　(Thanks Buddha)
Finally I'm able to use a SmartPhone!! LOL!!
I won't feel anymore bored when I'm outside or anywhere!!

Anyway.. As times goes by.....
I just need to change...
and start my Journey... and have a new begins.... =)



-Peace out-

No ones BIRD me when I'm down

When my friends are moody and down...
I used to accompany them and none stop fooling my self for making they laugh and happy...

But....

Where's my friends when I am moody and down?
They won't spit a single word to cheer me up.. or even care about me...
They just say they are busy.. blah blah blah....
All are just trying to ignore me...

Is true I am no more KID.
But I'm still an ordinary human... Well, HEY! I have sadness too...
Not only you guys have sadness... ALL of us do have feelings!!

Nah!! It's fine..
What I HAVE TO DO!! Is to change my self!!
And YEAH! Stop looking down on me!! (YOU FREAKING BITCH)

Should I just let go of you....?

Recent days....
I don't feels to write about you anymore....
Or treat you good..
Cause I always used to treat you so far so kind and good...
But you just treating me cruel and cruel and crueler......
I feels tired... tired.. and tired....

Even it's not getting any benefits..
But I have no idea why am I still want to doing all goods to you...
(All the way I know is because I'm still love you)

I am really tired.....
I really need a rest...
I had tried my bestest of best on you... and for you....
Sorry if I'm not doing more to you.. Sorry........
Lastly... Hope you get wells all the time...
And the last time........ I love you....

If you feels sad or want to find me...
I am always very welcome!! =)

Our Memory---001

If I'm not mistaken... that day.. was 2010 September 16th
I wanted to go Sunway Lagoon with my friends.. Yet I asked you but you don't want..
Cause you want to go roller with your friends..
I told you before don't go roller cause I'm not at your side and its dangerous for you...
But you don't hear what I said.....
Until 7pm something.... you SMS told me you hurt your arm bone while roller...
It frightened me until I feel so angry and sad... I was keep worry about you..
So I called you and talk with you..
also I've decided the next day(17th September 2010) want to go to your house... to see you... and take care of you.... as your lover... I must taking good care of you..
Cause I don't wish you will get hurt....
Until the next day I went to your home... and I overnight at your home...
I was keep looking at you... and hugging you... make you feel better...

Well.. the funniest things is.. You can't eat and take things...
But you can play PC and SMS... ==
It really make me so confuse that don't know you pain or not LOL..
but anyhow.. I must take care of you... cause I was deeply loving you..


Although we've break.... I also hope you're okay all the time..
I don't wish you hurt or sad...
If you're unhappy or moody... I hope you will find me....
Cause I really want to take care of you.....

Passed....

Everything pass...
Valentines.. I still plan to giving you a surprise..
But... seems like you don't like it...
I bought a Giant Teddy Bear... hope you will like it...
When I've told you it was Giant Teddy Bear..
You said... you don't like it.... it disappoint me... but it's okay....
Cause I don't want to show you my emotional anymore.... I just want to feel happy with you..
Until now... You seems like not hopping to contact with me anymore..
Everything just... just like getting far distance from me...
Feel so sorry to you... But you seems like still not believing me....
It's okay.... it's fine.... I'm alright..
I just wish everything bout you will be okay and happy....
It's okay even you're not caring me.. Cause..
I will still worry you and caring you..... as an Ex-Boy Friend...
You know I love you so much..... but.... *sigh* never mind.....
I miss you so much...... I'm seriously love you so deep...
I really wish... 1 day we will together again.....
God.... Please bless him with full holy and peace.. I just want him to be alright all the time....
There is no other reason for me to praying this...
But there is only 1 reason for this... is because I really love you...

心事....

原来...在我的心情很差的时候...
是没有一个朋友可以让我安心的说心事.......
就算是好朋友... 我也不乘说过我的心事...
还记得我们在一起的时候... 我都是一直跟你说我的心事..
因为跟你在一起... 让我觉得很舒服.. 很安心...
直到现在我们分手了....
我还是偶然的信息或在MSN里跟你说我的心事.. (就算你也不回复我)
我身边重要的人都一个一个的失去了..
生活也开始越来越复杂了...
说真的.... 我很想像回以前那样... 紧紧地抱住你.....
过后再慢慢的跟你谈心事...
我... 真的很需要你....

我的路

我... 和我身边的朋友/同学...
感情说是很好... 但我们的世界和路..
绝对是不一样..... 我的一位好朋友(Panda)
他让我体会到.. 原来我的路是可以走得比他们更好..

而且..
我也知道...
如果我和我家人来跟朋友们相比.. 绝对是两个不同世界的人...
他们的路与我很大差别 , 也不适合我...
所以我为有选择我该走的路..

可能性是因为我父母太宠我的关系..
所以我才变得这么无才能..
因为一直以来他们都守护我和帮我出头之类的..
根本无法让我独立... 我真的不想继续做一只井底之蛙..
我很想真正的看看外面的世界... 和各种社会的人..
我也要找到适合我的路...

Valentine

I wish I'm able to celebrate with you..
I know it is impossible for both me and you too.....
You just wont accept a P anymore no matter what..
But I do love you so much...
And..
I will love u quietly...
All I wish is just want you to be happy...

You never owe me

We're friend now...
It's okay even you're not going to be my lover anymore...
I really don't mind.. I just wish you will be happy...
But..
Now you said you owe me too much...
I didn't even think you owe me or you have to repay me..
and you say you will repay me everything you owe me...
Your words hurt me deeply....
You know I'm still loving u this deep.. how can you keep cruel to me... ><

All the reason I do was just because I love you deeply too much...
I have no idea the thing I doing is right or wrong..
All I know... love is love...
there is no wrong for loving a people.... and sacrifice for love..

Well...
If you really want to repay me.. THEN BE BACK MY LOVER!!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA~
sigh~ I know it's impossible....

I've done a lot of things for you..
Just because..
I love you...... HF..

静静的爱着你

你不断地说你不想再做P...
我也不想再烦你或强逼你跟回我在一起了.....
因为我知道我这样做只会给你带来烦恼和压力...
所以我想通了...
如果你真的不想再跟我一起....
我也愿意的继续爱着你...守护着你....疼你..
可能我对你做的一切你不会感动..
但我真的很想继续的爱着你和照顾你....
而且....
我要静静的爱着你........
我实在太爱你了...
以前对你不好... 所以才会搞成这样的地步......
所以现在就算不能跟你复合..
我也要好好的对待你...
我真的很想对你加倍的好....

我不想放弃你....

跟你做会朋友了....
但我还是一样很希望你能给我一次机会跟你复合...
我每天都一直问你可不可以和我再回一起..
可你的答案是不能...
我知道我一次又一次的问同样的问题..
而你也是一次又一次的给同样的答案...
虽然你的答案会伤我心......
但我不想放弃你...
因为我知道你就是我的真爱.. 我的一切....
我真的很爱你...我真的很希望能跟你在回一起.....

而且.. 都怪我自己不好.... 以前都是我自己拿来衰..
每次都把我们恩爱的感情搞破坏..
我真的很后悔... 我真的知错了.....
说实话.... 我也为你改了不少...
自从跟你分手后... 我的人真的反省了不少...
让我体会到你的感情... 还有我的过错...
所以我没算是做到你最好的老公..

但如果你真的愿意让我们再回一起....
我答应你... 我会非常非常努力的对你更加好....
原因.. 都是我太爱你了...
所以不想放弃你... 你是我的所有...
我爱你......

怀念在一起的我们...

我刚看了这..........
很有意思的note...

一个男生真的爱你的时候

-他不会冷落你超过三天，因为想念你的日子很难度过

-他会给你一个甜蜜的称呼，只属于他一个人喊的称呼 ，即使你有时不喜欢，但这也是爱你的一种！

-他会把你当孩子般宠爱，但是自己又说不出宠你的原因~

-他会让你开心快乐，不会带给眼泪

-24小时为你开机，随时随地让你能够找到他

-他会觉得你是最好的，不会将你和其他女人做比较，即便你并不优秀

-他会抽出时间来陪你，即使自己真的很忙，因为他看不见你会很想你

-他不会要求你减肥，因为他会把你的身体健康看作第一位

-他会很想和你生活在一起，会把你看成是生命中最重要的

-他会经常紧紧地抱着你，让你感受他的心跳

-他会在你睡着的时候轻轻吻你，因为你是他的天使

-他会给你买你喜欢的东西，并且很高兴陪你逛街

-他会默默地为你付出一切，但很少让你知道他所做的牺牲

-他会看你吃饭的时候傻笑，然后把好吃都留给你吃，那怕他只喝汤，心里也会很高兴。

-他会不厌其烦提醒你吃饭，穿衣服，听你烦了，他还是要提醒你，因为你生病就是对他最大的伤害。

-他会记住你说的每句话，哪怕是一句小玩笑，他也会放心里。然后努力改变自己的生活习惯。

-他会只对你一个人好，虽然他身边的朋友说他重色轻友，但是如果他朋友出事，他也会像担心你一样担心他们。所以不要说他不够义气。

-在你过马路的时候会紧张的拉着你的手，怕你横冲直撞出什么事，所以你不要甩开他的手。

-他的手机里都是关于你的东西，想你的时候会对着手机傻笑，回忆美好的幸福！！

『珍惜』身边的他/她！不要伪装自己的想法，爱要大声说出来……

HF.... 我相信..... 我们在一起的时候...我也有做过以上大部分的东西吧.....
当我看了这个note... 第一时间.. 就让我想起了我们在一起的时候....
而且...我也傻笑了... ^^
真的很怀念以前在一起的我们....

同性恋...

不管你是爱男或女,年龄大小距离
也是爱...
真正爱一个人... 它不一定要是男或女...
就如同性恋... 总是被歧视..
男同性,女同性.... 也是人啊...
只是性方向不一样... 不代表没有开花结果....
爱就是爱... 爱一个自己爱的人.. 是没有错的!!
而且也对得起自己的良心... 更不需要向别人交待....
不需要更复杂的理由去解释.. 因为爱就是爱...




有兴趣的话..
请按以下的link =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWZFlV8c79A

你终于理会我了.....

你终于理会我了... ><
虽然你对我瞒冷的.....
但是我真的心满意足了....
我只希望还能继续的关心你和照顾你....或是疼你><
我们做朋友也无所谓... 我真的不敢对你再要求多多了...
我真的很害怕会又再次的失去跟你联络~ T ___T

但...............
如果真的可以的话..
我很希望你能给我第二次机会...让我再好好的照顾你><
我真的会对你更好... 而且我也知错了... 我真的怕了..

我是个很注重爱情的人

之前...你说只是爱我少少...
过了几天后... 你就说你很爱我了...


然后到了上次你跟我说其实你根本就不爱我...
几个小时后你又说你是爱我的..


过了一阵子后...你跟我说你从来没爱过我...
没多久后你又跟我说其实你是很爱我....


现在你又说你没有以前那么爱我了...


我真的很搞不懂你的脑袋在想些什么!!
一时一样...而且我不是你的玩具!! 请别一次又一次的玩弄我!!!
每次我都对你那么认真... 可你却一次又一次的戏弄我...
而且还是一次又一次的伤害我...
如果你没打算跟我发展下去的话.. 我真的很不希望你会浪费我们的时间...
而且如果你是爱你的KC 或什么 Kelvin 的话.. 你滚去一边... 我不是他们的代替品!!!
我要的是一个对我好的宝贝老婆......
你不注重爱情.. 但我很注重我的爱情关系!!
因为我已经失去以前的一切....
所以我努力的把我自己变得更好.... 所以我更需要一个美好的恋爱...
而不是玩玩下的感情!!



HF:
唉~但是如果你可以在给多我一次机会让我们从新来过...
我真的可以做得比以前更好...

我很后悔当初毁灭这段感情的我....

虽然我跟他说我已经对你没感情了....
但事实上我还是很爱你... 根本就不可能那么容易对你没感情..
因为我们的感情发展的太好了...
就是因为当时我的冲动和不好..... 而毁灭了我们之间的关系...
我真的很后悔...
好好的一段感情..... 就那样被我摧毁了...
我真的很难过.... 直到现在... 我还是一样的爱你.....
虽然我已经没什么找你... 但我还有偶尔的打听你的消息....

我知道.....
就算我们在回一起的话....你的父母一定不会赞成让你跟我这种人在一起..
而且..你也不可能打算跟回我在一起吧...

我还记得...
我们之间发生过很多事.....
开心..悲伤..愤怒..和嫉妒....
说真的...如果认真地去想..其实我们是很合配的.... > <

唉~
我真的很想你.......
我很希望你可以原谅我... 就算你不打算跟我复合...
我也希望你能跟我做个朋友...

辉哥! 一路好走....

突然听见你这样的消息....大家都被吓呆了...
我们都坚持不相信... 大家都对你充满了希望......
而且我们也一起等你的好消息...
直到消息出来了..... 而且还是坏的...
我的泪水就不知不觉的流下来了..
大家也拼命的为你祝福.... 但你还是离开我们这班兄弟和朋友们..
我们也接受不了你离开的消息...

直到昨天... 考完Perdagangan了... 我们就到校外达巴士去“广东义山”
见到你的“照片”..... 大家也上前拜你...
忍不住地...我们也流泪了....
到了现在... 我还是不能接受你离开我们的事实....


还记得...当天去Sunway玩的我们....
我们也玩得很开心....

上次在TNA打机...
我们还玩了Battlefield 和 L4D2...
满开心的......

可是突然你就这样去了....
真接受不到... 我们会想念你的....
也不会忘记你这位朋友...... =')

My SPM

What an EXAM!! Its made me more relax....
As I know.. There will be so many people feeling stressed and worried about the SPM..
Everyone afraid will be failed on SPM.. So they studied hard....
But me.. Keeping relax with just a little revision..
Indeed I am worry and afraid of failed my SPM result..
Still I've no idea why am I not curious about it anymore....
Just relaxing all the times...

Yet... BM , BI and Science are really easy..
Maybe can pass? Or maybe can't? =(
I've tried hard with my UPSR and PMR before..
I keep studying , revision and having tuition...
But still the same.. Never get good results..

Sigh..

Anyway.. Wish me all the best by my self!!
Whatever the result it is.. I still have to get my life on.....
Gambateh!

明天就SPM了

明天就SPM了... 我读了那么多天的书... 还是一样进不到脑...
完全搞不懂她它在讲什么.. 反而越读越乱....
唉~ 家里的长辈们都一直很期望我会考好来...
我想一定会让他们大失所望了...
现在脑里都是空空的... 还真是有点害怕......
不管怎样.. 还是努力加油吧!!

分手后也不能做朋友吗?

昨天是最后一天上课....
我带着很高兴得心情去上课...
跟朋友们有说有笑... 大家也一起拍照...
今天我也看见在食堂的你.. 又跟那班"鸡"在一起...
就在那时我就不知不觉之下生气了...
可能是因为还在爱你的情况之下.. 我才吃干醋和生气吧..
下课过后的心情也变坏了....
在放学时... 不小心被我看见你唱歌时的那可爱样子..
在出校的路上... 我看见你.. 我站在一边等你的到来...
当你来到过后... 我却问了你能不能做回朋友.. 但你却一直拒绝我....
而我在不受控制的情况下流了眼泪...... 真的非常伤心....
回到家后... 我却很烦恼的想到底我做错了什么..... 是不是我做得不够好呀?


如果你还是要这样的话...我也无话可说了..你要怎样是你的事......我也会放弃你....

我们结束了......

刚刚起床....
以为只是发了一场噩梦..
但当我看见你的电话时......
我就知道我不是在发梦... 我们分开了.......
昨晚... 我跟弟弟一起去夜市... 他说他和他的朋友们BBQ...
但是... 因为前天的事... 我以为你会改变了.....
所以我就认为你留在家里.......
然后我就用开玩笑的语气问弟弟... 你是不是跟他们一起....
弟弟日:"是"

那时候我真的开始失望了....
当弟弟带到我去你们那边是.... 竟然被我看见你在跟朋友们玩水玩得那么开心....
我就很生气的走去一边一直看着你.... 等你过来跟我解释....
但是就算你看到我... 你也不要过来....
而且还要玩了很久...... 才肯过来...

你的第一句就问我,"做么你回来的?"
我要回答你时.... 你就立刻转身跳回下水......
那一刻我真的非常生气... 和被对你的失望及开头语伤害了我的心......
我就立刻走去弟弟那边坐着.... 而且我哭了.........
我真的被你再次又再次的严重伤害了......
过多会儿...我叫弟弟把你给叫上来我这里...
你过来了.... 我们吵架了.....
在我一时过火无法控制的时刻....... 我竟然打你的脸了......
打了过后我才反醒.... 打了你後... 我的眼泪在那时也掉了下来...
过后我们又再吵架....... 这次轮到你一直乱打我.... 和给了我一巴掌.....
在那刻.... 我呆了.... 我真的呆了........
过了没多久... 我们就一起走路回去你的家...... 我们谈了那么久...
你还是坚持的要和我分手...... 但是一直拒绝的我.... 说什么也没用....
我也知道.... 就算我说那么多或我再写什么..... 你都不会跟我复合...



那么久以来...我在你的心目中..... 都是比不上你的朋友吗?
充满了希望的我们.... 就这样分开了...
承诺...希望.... 未来...... 就这样什么都没有了.............

Fuck MAD!!!

Just now!! Around 7pm+ something..
I went to SPARK to buy waffle..
And I saw you... with your friends... and the girl I MOST HATE!! That fucking chick!!!
You didn't even tell me that you're going anywhere or do what....
EVEN A MSG!! You also never send me!!!! Or telling me!!!!!!!
It was so Damn surprise!!!!!! TO SEE YOU WITH THAT CHICK AND YOUR FRIENDS!!
Always with the people I don't like!! And do the things which is I HATE YOU TO DO IT!!!!
You keep repeat and repeat the things I hate!!!
Never mind.... You want continue like this then go ahead.... I won't care bout you anymore!!!!
FUCKER!!!!
YOU MAKE ME SO DAMN MAD!!!!

Happiest Birthday I had in my life

Today's my birthday...
And It was my real "Happy" Birthday.. =)
Was having a lot of fun with my girls and my lover...
This year is the 1st time I'm having an important person celebrate with me..
And that's my lover.. Cute Dear =D

I was so damn happy... We're having a lot of fun..
During in the K-Room.. We had "Potato Chips War"!!!
I throw you and you throw me!! LOL.. So damn funny!!
Although its wasting food and making dirty...
But our "Clean Lady" help us clean up the K-Room.. xP
Yet!! They bought cakes for me and we shared it together =)

D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!!

And after we Sang-K..
We went for shopping
I bought "Maruko" for my lover.. And we ate together.. Enjoyed =P
While we on the way to the bus stop and we see U48 (The bus we wanna ride on)
But 3 of our friends were missing...
We stand there and see the bus pass through us..
After the bus are gone..
Those "missing pets" only came out from the hole... =,=
For chasing the bus.. We went to another bus stop to wait the coming bus..
Yet we success to ride on..

We went to 168 for our dinner!!
And we ordered these......



Its all DELICIOUS TOO!!!
After dinner and we're having IQ jokes~ Play~ bla bla bla...
Well... Indeed I am having a lot of fun during my Birthday...
But....
The most happy is.. My lover is beside me and celebrate with me as well...
I am glad you are my dear...
Thank You! Dear..
I love you....

No one understand me....

It's been always alone by my self...
Even I have many friends and family with me....
But the feeling inside me... are yet still lonely....
Because no one can ever understand me...
The things I always do and say....
I did think for them before I say it..
Cause I scare I will hurt them...

My Father....
Ya.. He's a person that you can never imagine!!!
His attitude to me and mom... terrible bad!!!!
What he did is for his own!! But no one can see it...
It's been always... always...
Made mom and I very unhappy of him...
Cause he so like to argue when he's feeling nothing to do......
Those who know nothing about us... They keep complain about both me and my mom...
But my mom don't mind at all......
And I am having a little same as my mom...
It is too kind.. soft heart and easy get cheat...
Sometimes I really feel sad for my mom that she's having such husband!!
But she never regret... She never give up....
Right now.. What my mom doing is all for me... Cause she love me...
And ya.. Mom! I love you too...

And those lovers who I had before......
I always do all the best I can be...
But they don't care or mind at all....
Still... They are having other lover at outside...
It's hurt me deeply into my heart...
They always do something to hurt me....
But they will never admit what have they done.....

Still... When I'm always kind to all the people around me....
While I'm having a bad temper and "dirty words"..
They will say that "So this is the real you huh?"
They always never try to understand me.....
Then only look the bad side I'm having....
They don't even look the good side I'm having.....

Why?
Why no one can truly understand me?
I just need someone that can truly understand me.....
I don't wish to having such lonely life anymore...
I just want someone can really good to me and understanding me......

My families..

In my Dad's side family...
Most of them are very good in study...
Good scores and a lot of Grade A.
They are gentle speech and refined behavior..
Good in gaining money as well..

In my Mom's side family....
Most of them are very worst in study..
Low scores and bad Grade..
They are rude and vulgar language..
Not gain much money but a little shining star in their heart...

In my study level... I can tell that I'm just "half water"
Mean worst but not too worst... but still is worst (LOL)
I still can't works in the age right now..
I can't even get a good grade in my exams.....

Still, I'm having SPM on this year...
Duh!! I'm 90% sure that once i failed in my SPM!!
And my dad's side family some of them will "look down" on me...
But my mom's side family most of them will still cheer me up no matter what.... =)

I believe that many people will think that I'm having a bad attitude..
And they will think I'm a bad guy.. Gangster.. Bla this and bla that~
But what they seeing is the only surface..
They will never know the kind that hidden in the very bottom of my heart..
Only my mom's mother(外婆) understand and knowing me much more than the others...

Indeed. My dad side's of my cousins...
Some of them seems really good to me.... (surface)
But I know what are they trying to do on me...
I know it even they're trying to keep in silence...
And so I always told my mom about it... I will never tell my dad...
Because...
He will only keep say he's side family damn fucking good!!!
And he will only keep say mom's side family so damn fucking annoying..
Still, he keep say how bad is mom's side family members..
He just keep complaining on my mom's side family...
He didn't even trying to complain about his side's family...
I most remember one things that he said to me and mom...
"Of course my side's family most good la!!
All original things!! Not private!! Mom's side family leh?
Always the things that don't want to use anymore
then give it to us.. even give us...
It's also cheap things and private!!"

Hey dad!! How the hell that you can say something like this!!
Do you know what will mom feel if you say so?
Yes!! I admit that your side's family are very rich indeed!!
But don't forget those things are theirs!! Not yours!!
You are even different from em' all!!
You are not as rich as them!!! You are even worst than em'!!
You are much more rude than they all!!
You are a fucking bad husband to mom and you was a failure dad!!!!
You don't even taking good balance for both side family!!
Your selfishness make both me and mom unlike you!!
But you are damn lucky!! Because of my mom too kind..
That's why she will still be good to you no matter what..

Dad!! Try and use your fucking brain to think!!!
You are having a son and a good pretty kind wife...
You don't have to x at the outside (private case)
I act like nothing doesn't mean I don't know what you did at the outside!!!

Tsk... Anyhow..... I will only caring my SPM results right now...
Hardworking on it... even if I'm getting low scores and Grade....
I won't care how they "looking down" on me!!
Live my own way!! My target is just to take care of my mom and my lover in my life!!!
That's all!!!

The "taste" in our relationship

We together almost 5 months.
We tried sour,sweet,bitter,salt and spicy life in our relationship..
We also go through a lot of life experience.
We have been cried.. laugh.. angry.. sad and jealous.. to each other...

Firstly,
There is a part of memory I will never be forgotten.
It is about them... Christian.. (Cause of my lover are christian)
It's about their rules..
Because there is one of their rules... I am not able to be with my lover...
And they keep trying to tier us off. How cruel are they...
You guys keep said that we can't be together is because this is a rule of christian that sign by god.
Then the hell I am going to tell you right now!
Love mean Love. God will never tier off a part of true lovely couple.
And yet!! We are not doing bad things!!
So stop tier us a part... It's meaningless for you all..

Secondly,

You always follow your own way to do your things.

You will with friends and leave me alone.

Cause you said "I am still able to be live even I am without you" (Hurt when heard this)

My friend (Panda)..

He told me not to be so caring about you...

Have to put off you too... And try letting you to do whatever you want to do..

I will only get hurt if I too caring about you..

So..... I follow his way to treat you..

It's work well a lot..

Lastly,

The every time I seek sweet and salt for us...

But the every time you take sour and spicy in to our relationship...

Indeed. I will be very angry when you are doing spicy for me..

So I will sit down and think properly in my heart......

The 1st things it come out... Its telling me "The important that you are happy".

Sweetheart... I will still keep trying to be the greatest husband in your life... I swear.

And I will be the one most take care of you in your life too..

Horrible moment in School

This is the worst case ever in my school's life.
I never imagine that such things will happen in our school.
Even me, I'm also get frightened. Maybe I was as timid as a mouse.


So,the story start like this.....
Today,while all the students are in the assembly during the singing "Wilayah Persekutuan"
All of the Form 3 girl shout in a sudden.
Because one of them were suddenly seems like crazy and she's out of control.
And don't know why are she sitting down on the floor.


Then our school's assistant go on the stage and told us faster get back into our classrooms.
We all go back to our own classes and have to move faster.
After go up floor.. and reach our class..
We stand outside the corner and look down the assembly..
We saw one of our teacher ..
We can't see properly...
But....
As we can see.. She seems like she is crying and so sad...
Many teachers surround her and keep cheer her up..
Meanwhile, She fainted... (Hope she will be okay now)


Soon...
We heard many class also having girls screaming...

And we are very sure it's about that "thing" again...

At that moment I was very afraid...

I keep stick with my friends.. and keep hugging my bag.....

Meanwhile..

Teacher ask all of us to go down hall..

After went to the hall....

We separate for 2 lines.. 1 line for muslim students.. and 1 line for non-muslim students..

After 10 or 15 minutes something...

Teacher allow us(non-muslim) to go back home...

It's really a such horrible moment / day in our school...

Maybe I can't write well here...

But it is true that damn scary when it's happening in the reality..

我不是你的最好，但我会做到最好

不管是你的错，或是我的错。。。
我很肯定你会一口咬定说是我的错。。。
而且。。。
就算你被我骂了一大餐，你也是不会去更改自己。。。
（所谓好马不吃回头草） But you are still doing it
这次为了x事而吵架。。。。
因为你每次为了x而不理会我。。。。。
你能体会到你为了x而不理我的感受吗？
你每次说我没有体会你的感受。。。。
但我已经改变着了，而且我比以前更好了 (About YF)
经过了这次为了x而吵架。。。。
我已经想了很久。。。。。就算我多说你也是"左耳进右耳出"
所以我想通了。。。你要怎样的话，你就去吧。。。。
在怎样我也是管不了你一世。。。。
你要怎样。。。我都尊重你的指示。。。(Depends on situation)



***而且我也不想再被你气了，我这次真的被你气的很厉害。所以我要开始改变我自己变得更好而就算被你气。。。我也要对你好好和做到最好。就算是你错了，也是我逗回你开心。。。。虽然我不是你的最好，但我真的很想作为你心中的第一位。。。我会尽量做我的一切来让你开心。。。最重要的是。。我爱你

等待你

因为说好了今天去你家，所以放学后我去你班找你。

找了你后你却说你今天要留班，然后我就告诉你“我先回家，你做好的话记得打给我”

当我出了学校跟朋友去吃午餐时，突然想到我没问你记不记得我的手提号码。。。

因为我怕你不记得我的手提号码而联络不到我。。。。。。

所以我就连忙的吃饭，走回家冲凉，然后就赶着来学校等你。。。

我在校外自己一个人傻傻的等待你也期待着你会出来。。。

我从阴天等到雨天，雨天等到晴天。。。但你还是没有出来。。。

而且我玩电话也玩到没电了。。这次真的是整个傻佬这样在外面等你。。。

等到很久之后。。。

我的一位女生朋友(WT)过来问我“为什么等那么久？他还没出来啊？”

我说“是咯，等了很久。”

然后WT打电话给她爱人(KW)，因为他们在校内打球所以可以任进任出

WT告诉KW去找我的宝贝，因为我在外面等了很久了。。。

打了之后WT就先回了。。。。

不久后你终于出来了。。。。而且你的第一句就是“我还没有做完。”

我:“然后？”

你：“我还要继续做，不懂几点才回。”

然后，我就突然间很生气的什么也不说。。。

却转身而回家去。。。。。

我从2pm等到你5pm+。。。。。 足足的等了你两个小时多。。。。

I've been wait for you this long times but you.....

Duh!! It's enough now... I don't want to say it anymore...

It will only make us argue if I'm still say this much..

你在我心内的心声

不知不觉的...我们在一起差不多也要4个月了...

虽然我们总有吵架,亲热,高兴,伤心,吃醋,斗气的时候......

对我来说,是每个情侣都会平常发生的事..

我每次都遵守诺言,不说谎话的对待你,甚至上还很疼爱你....

但我很不明白...

为什么我们总是都会无意中吵了起来?

我想知道..我们之间到底是谁怒对方?还是双方的问题？

最近我也正在改变着了....

就算我被你气得要命...我也忍着口中的气来好好跟你谈天..

不管我多么不开心..我也是对你好好...

而且.....我也没有再跟你吵了吧....

但我希望你能知道...

我改变的原因是因为我爱你...我要跟你天长地久..也是因为我不想双方都不开心..

我也很希望你能知道我的感受...

就是当我很生气时,却要忍着那道气的辛苦...

因为我不想再去挨骂你...

我说这些并不代表我要"talk high bout my self"

这只是我不敢告诉你我的心声..