辉哥! 一路好走....

突然听见你这样的消息....大家都被吓呆了...
我们都坚持不相信... 大家都对你充满了希望......
而且我们也一起等你的好消息...
直到消息出来了..... 而且还是坏的...
我的泪水就不知不觉的流下来了..
大家也拼命的为你祝福.... 但你还是离开我们这班兄弟和朋友们..
我们也接受不了你离开的消息...

直到昨天... 考完Perdagangan了... 我们就到校外达巴士去“广东义山”
见到你的“照片”..... 大家也上前拜你...
忍不住地...我们也流泪了....
到了现在... 我还是不能接受你离开我们的事实....


还记得...当天去Sunway玩的我们....
我们也玩得很开心....

上次在TNA打机...
我们还玩了Battlefield 和 L4D2...
满开心的......

可是突然你就这样去了....
真接受不到... 我们会想念你的....
也不会忘记你这位朋友...... =')

My SPM

What an EXAM!! Its made me more relax....
As I know.. There will be so many people feeling stressed and worried about the SPM..
Everyone afraid will be failed on SPM.. So they studied hard....
But me.. Keeping relax with just a little revision..
Indeed I am worry and afraid of failed my SPM result..
Still I've no idea why am I not curious about it anymore....
Just relaxing all the times...

Yet... BM , BI and Science are really easy..
Maybe can pass? Or maybe can't? =(
I've tried hard with my UPSR and PMR before..
I keep studying , revision and having tuition...
But still the same.. Never get good results..

Sigh..

Anyway.. Wish me all the best by my self!!
Whatever the result it is.. I still have to get my life on.....
Gambateh!

明天就SPM了

明天就SPM了... 我读了那么多天的书... 还是一样进不到脑...
完全搞不懂她它在讲什么.. 反而越读越乱....
唉~ 家里的长辈们都一直很期望我会考好来...
我想一定会让他们大失所望了...
现在脑里都是空空的... 还真是有点害怕......
不管怎样.. 还是努力加油吧!!

分手后也不能做朋友吗?

昨天是最后一天上课....
我带着很高兴得心情去上课...
跟朋友们有说有笑... 大家也一起拍照...
今天我也看见在食堂的你.. 又跟那班"鸡"在一起...
就在那时我就不知不觉之下生气了...
可能是因为还在爱你的情况之下.. 我才吃干醋和生气吧..
下课过后的心情也变坏了....
在放学时... 不小心被我看见你唱歌时的那可爱样子..
在出校的路上... 我看见你.. 我站在一边等你的到来...
当你来到过后... 我却问了你能不能做回朋友.. 但你却一直拒绝我....
而我在不受控制的情况下流了眼泪...... 真的非常伤心....
回到家后... 我却很烦恼的想到底我做错了什么..... 是不是我做得不够好呀?


如果你还是要这样的话...我也无话可说了..你要怎样是你的事......我也会放弃你....

我们结束了......

刚刚起床....
以为只是发了一场噩梦..
但当我看见你的电话时......
我就知道我不是在发梦... 我们分开了.......
昨晚... 我跟弟弟一起去夜市... 他说他和他的朋友们BBQ...
但是... 因为前天的事... 我以为你会改变了.....
所以我就认为你留在家里.......
然后我就用开玩笑的语气问弟弟... 你是不是跟他们一起....
弟弟日:"是"

那时候我真的开始失望了....
当弟弟带到我去你们那边是.... 竟然被我看见你在跟朋友们玩水玩得那么开心....
我就很生气的走去一边一直看着你.... 等你过来跟我解释....
但是就算你看到我... 你也不要过来....
而且还要玩了很久...... 才肯过来...

你的第一句就问我,"做么你回来的?"
我要回答你时.... 你就立刻转身跳回下水......
那一刻我真的非常生气... 和被对你的失望及开头语伤害了我的心......
我就立刻走去弟弟那边坐着.... 而且我哭了.........
我真的被你再次又再次的严重伤害了......
过多会儿...我叫弟弟把你给叫上来我这里...
你过来了.... 我们吵架了.....
在我一时过火无法控制的时刻....... 我竟然打你的脸了......
打了过后我才反醒.... 打了你後... 我的眼泪在那时也掉了下来...
过后我们又再吵架....... 这次轮到你一直乱打我.... 和给了我一巴掌.....
在那刻.... 我呆了.... 我真的呆了........
过了没多久... 我们就一起走路回去你的家...... 我们谈了那么久...
你还是坚持的要和我分手...... 但是一直拒绝的我.... 说什么也没用....
我也知道.... 就算我说那么多或我再写什么..... 你都不会跟我复合...



那么久以来...我在你的心目中..... 都是比不上你的朋友吗?
充满了希望的我们.... 就这样分开了...
承诺...希望.... 未来...... 就这样什么都没有了.............

Fuck MAD!!!

Just now!! Around 7pm+ something..
I went to SPARK to buy waffle..
And I saw you... with your friends... and the girl I MOST HATE!! That fucking chick!!!
You didn't even tell me that you're going anywhere or do what....
EVEN A MSG!! You also never send me!!!! Or telling me!!!!!!!
It was so Damn surprise!!!!!! TO SEE YOU WITH THAT CHICK AND YOUR FRIENDS!!
Always with the people I don't like!! And do the things which is I HATE YOU TO DO IT!!!!
You keep repeat and repeat the things I hate!!!
Never mind.... You want continue like this then go ahead.... I won't care bout you anymore!!!!
FUCKER!!!!
YOU MAKE ME SO DAMN MAD!!!!

Happiest Birthday I had in my life

Today's my birthday...
And It was my real "Happy" Birthday.. =)
Was having a lot of fun with my girls and my lover...
This year is the 1st time I'm having an important person celebrate with me..
And that's my lover.. Cute Dear =D

I was so damn happy... We're having a lot of fun..
During in the K-Room.. We had "Potato Chips War"!!!
I throw you and you throw me!! LOL.. So damn funny!!
Although its wasting food and making dirty...
But our "Clean Lady" help us clean up the K-Room.. xP
Yet!! They bought cakes for me and we shared it together =)

D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!!

And after we Sang-K..
We went for shopping
I bought "Maruko" for my lover.. And we ate together.. Enjoyed =P
While we on the way to the bus stop and we see U48 (The bus we wanna ride on)
But 3 of our friends were missing...
We stand there and see the bus pass through us..
After the bus are gone..
Those "missing pets" only came out from the hole... =,=
For chasing the bus.. We went to another bus stop to wait the coming bus..
Yet we success to ride on..

We went to 168 for our dinner!!
And we ordered these......



Its all DELICIOUS TOO!!!
After dinner and we're having IQ jokes~ Play~ bla bla bla...
Well... Indeed I am having a lot of fun during my Birthday...
But....
The most happy is.. My lover is beside me and celebrate with me as well...
I am glad you are my dear...
Thank You! Dear..
I love you....

No one understand me....

It's been always alone by my self...
Even I have many friends and family with me....
But the feeling inside me... are yet still lonely....
Because no one can ever understand me...
The things I always do and say....
I did think for them before I say it..
Cause I scare I will hurt them...

My Father....
Ya.. He's a person that you can never imagine!!!
His attitude to me and mom... terrible bad!!!!
What he did is for his own!! But no one can see it...
It's been always... always...
Made mom and I very unhappy of him...
Cause he so like to argue when he's feeling nothing to do......
Those who know nothing about us... They keep complain about both me and my mom...
But my mom don't mind at all......
And I am having a little same as my mom...
It is too kind.. soft heart and easy get cheat...
Sometimes I really feel sad for my mom that she's having such husband!!
But she never regret... She never give up....
Right now.. What my mom doing is all for me... Cause she love me...
And ya.. Mom! I love you too...

And those lovers who I had before......
I always do all the best I can be...
But they don't care or mind at all....
Still... They are having other lover at outside...
It's hurt me deeply into my heart...
They always do something to hurt me....
But they will never admit what have they done.....

Still... When I'm always kind to all the people around me....
While I'm having a bad temper and "dirty words"..
They will say that "So this is the real you huh?"
They always never try to understand me.....
Then only look the bad side I'm having....
They don't even look the good side I'm having.....

Why?
Why no one can truly understand me?
I just need someone that can truly understand me.....
I don't wish to having such lonely life anymore...
I just want someone can really good to me and understanding me......

My families..

In my Dad's side family...
Most of them are very good in study...
Good scores and a lot of Grade A.
They are gentle speech and refined behavior..
Good in gaining money as well..

In my Mom's side family....
Most of them are very worst in study..
Low scores and bad Grade..
They are rude and vulgar language..
Not gain much money but a little shining star in their heart...

In my study level... I can tell that I'm just "half water"
Mean worst but not too worst... but still is worst (LOL)
I still can't works in the age right now..
I can't even get a good grade in my exams.....

Still, I'm having SPM on this year...
Duh!! I'm 90% sure that once i failed in my SPM!!
And my dad's side family some of them will "look down" on me...
But my mom's side family most of them will still cheer me up no matter what.... =)

I believe that many people will think that I'm having a bad attitude..
And they will think I'm a bad guy.. Gangster.. Bla this and bla that~
But what they seeing is the only surface..
They will never know the kind that hidden in the very bottom of my heart..
Only my mom's mother(外婆) understand and knowing me much more than the others...

Indeed. My dad side's of my cousins...
Some of them seems really good to me.... (surface)
But I know what are they trying to do on me...
I know it even they're trying to keep in silence...
And so I always told my mom about it... I will never tell my dad...
Because...
He will only keep say he's side family damn fucking good!!!
And he will only keep say mom's side family so damn fucking annoying..
Still, he keep say how bad is mom's side family members..
He just keep complaining on my mom's side family...
He didn't even trying to complain about his side's family...
I most remember one things that he said to me and mom...
"Of course my side's family most good la!!
All original things!! Not private!! Mom's side family leh?
Always the things that don't want to use anymore
then give it to us.. even give us...
It's also cheap things and private!!"

Hey dad!! How the hell that you can say something like this!!
Do you know what will mom feel if you say so?
Yes!! I admit that your side's family are very rich indeed!!
But don't forget those things are theirs!! Not yours!!
You are even different from em' all!!
You are not as rich as them!!! You are even worst than em'!!
You are much more rude than they all!!
You are a fucking bad husband to mom and you was a failure dad!!!!
You don't even taking good balance for both side family!!
Your selfishness make both me and mom unlike you!!
But you are damn lucky!! Because of my mom too kind..
That's why she will still be good to you no matter what..

Dad!! Try and use your fucking brain to think!!!
You are having a son and a good pretty kind wife...
You don't have to x at the outside (private case)
I act like nothing doesn't mean I don't know what you did at the outside!!!

Tsk... Anyhow..... I will only caring my SPM results right now...
Hardworking on it... even if I'm getting low scores and Grade....
I won't care how they "looking down" on me!!
Live my own way!! My target is just to take care of my mom and my lover in my life!!!
That's all!!!

The "taste" in our relationship

We together almost 5 months.
We tried sour,sweet,bitter,salt and spicy life in our relationship..
We also go through a lot of life experience.
We have been cried.. laugh.. angry.. sad and jealous.. to each other...

Firstly,
There is a part of memory I will never be forgotten.
It is about them... Christian.. (Cause of my lover are christian)
It's about their rules..
Because there is one of their rules... I am not able to be with my lover...
And they keep trying to tier us off. How cruel are they...
You guys keep said that we can't be together is because this is a rule of christian that sign by god.
Then the hell I am going to tell you right now!
Love mean Love. God will never tier off a part of true lovely couple.
And yet!! We are not doing bad things!!
So stop tier us a part... It's meaningless for you all..

Secondly,

You always follow your own way to do your things.

You will with friends and leave me alone.

Cause you said "I am still able to be live even I am without you" (Hurt when heard this)

My friend (Panda)..

He told me not to be so caring about you...

Have to put off you too... And try letting you to do whatever you want to do..

I will only get hurt if I too caring about you..

So..... I follow his way to treat you..

It's work well a lot..

Lastly,

The every time I seek sweet and salt for us...

But the every time you take sour and spicy in to our relationship...

Indeed. I will be very angry when you are doing spicy for me..

So I will sit down and think properly in my heart......

The 1st things it come out... Its telling me "The important that you are happy".

Sweetheart... I will still keep trying to be the greatest husband in your life... I swear.

And I will be the one most take care of you in your life too..

Horrible moment in School

This is the worst case ever in my school's life.
I never imagine that such things will happen in our school.
Even me, I'm also get frightened. Maybe I was as timid as a mouse.


So,the story start like this.....
Today,while all the students are in the assembly during the singing "Wilayah Persekutuan"
All of the Form 3 girl shout in a sudden.
Because one of them were suddenly seems like crazy and she's out of control.
And don't know why are she sitting down on the floor.


Then our school's assistant go on the stage and told us faster get back into our classrooms.
We all go back to our own classes and have to move faster.
After go up floor.. and reach our class..
We stand outside the corner and look down the assembly..
We saw one of our teacher ..
We can't see properly...
But....
As we can see.. She seems like she is crying and so sad...
Many teachers surround her and keep cheer her up..
Meanwhile, She fainted... (Hope she will be okay now)


Soon...
We heard many class also having girls screaming...

And we are very sure it's about that "thing" again...

At that moment I was very afraid...

I keep stick with my friends.. and keep hugging my bag.....

Meanwhile..

Teacher ask all of us to go down hall..

After went to the hall....

We separate for 2 lines.. 1 line for muslim students.. and 1 line for non-muslim students..

After 10 or 15 minutes something...

Teacher allow us(non-muslim) to go back home...

It's really a such horrible moment / day in our school...

Maybe I can't write well here...

But it is true that damn scary when it's happening in the reality..

我不是你的最好，但我会做到最好

不管是你的错，或是我的错。。。
我很肯定你会一口咬定说是我的错。。。
而且。。。
就算你被我骂了一大餐，你也是不会去更改自己。。。
（所谓好马不吃回头草） But you are still doing it
这次为了x事而吵架。。。。
因为你每次为了x而不理会我。。。。。
你能体会到你为了x而不理我的感受吗？
你每次说我没有体会你的感受。。。。
但我已经改变着了，而且我比以前更好了 (About YF)
经过了这次为了x而吵架。。。。
我已经想了很久。。。。。就算我多说你也是"左耳进右耳出"
所以我想通了。。。你要怎样的话，你就去吧。。。。
在怎样我也是管不了你一世。。。。
你要怎样。。。我都尊重你的指示。。。(Depends on situation)



***而且我也不想再被你气了，我这次真的被你气的很厉害。所以我要开始改变我自己变得更好而就算被你气。。。我也要对你好好和做到最好。就算是你错了，也是我逗回你开心。。。。虽然我不是你的最好，但我真的很想作为你心中的第一位。。。我会尽量做我的一切来让你开心。。。最重要的是。。我爱你

等待你

因为说好了今天去你家，所以放学后我去你班找你。

找了你后你却说你今天要留班，然后我就告诉你“我先回家，你做好的话记得打给我”

当我出了学校跟朋友去吃午餐时，突然想到我没问你记不记得我的手提号码。。。

因为我怕你不记得我的手提号码而联络不到我。。。。。。

所以我就连忙的吃饭，走回家冲凉，然后就赶着来学校等你。。。

我在校外自己一个人傻傻的等待你也期待着你会出来。。。

我从阴天等到雨天，雨天等到晴天。。。但你还是没有出来。。。

而且我玩电话也玩到没电了。。这次真的是整个傻佬这样在外面等你。。。

等到很久之后。。。

我的一位女生朋友(WT)过来问我“为什么等那么久？他还没出来啊？”

我说“是咯，等了很久。”

然后WT打电话给她爱人(KW)，因为他们在校内打球所以可以任进任出

WT告诉KW去找我的宝贝，因为我在外面等了很久了。。。

打了之后WT就先回了。。。。

不久后你终于出来了。。。。而且你的第一句就是“我还没有做完。”

我:“然后？”

你：“我还要继续做，不懂几点才回。”

然后，我就突然间很生气的什么也不说。。。

却转身而回家去。。。。。

我从2pm等到你5pm+。。。。。 足足的等了你两个小时多。。。。

I've been wait for you this long times but you.....

Duh!! It's enough now... I don't want to say it anymore...

It will only make us argue if I'm still say this much..

你在我心内的心声

不知不觉的...我们在一起差不多也要4个月了...

虽然我们总有吵架,亲热,高兴,伤心,吃醋,斗气的时候......

对我来说,是每个情侣都会平常发生的事..

我每次都遵守诺言,不说谎话的对待你,甚至上还很疼爱你....

但我很不明白...

为什么我们总是都会无意中吵了起来?

我想知道..我们之间到底是谁怒对方?还是双方的问题？

最近我也正在改变着了....

就算我被你气得要命...我也忍着口中的气来好好跟你谈天..

不管我多么不开心..我也是对你好好...

而且.....我也没有再跟你吵了吧....

但我希望你能知道...

我改变的原因是因为我爱你...我要跟你天长地久..也是因为我不想双方都不开心..

我也很希望你能知道我的感受...

就是当我很生气时,却要忍着那道气的辛苦...

因为我不想再去挨骂你...

我说这些并不代表我要"talk high bout my self"

这只是我不敢告诉你我的心声..